wish me luck
18 June 2025
my mom has returned home from her 10-day silent meditation retreat in rural Canada. while there, she had to abstain from speaking, communicating through gestures, and even making eye contact with the volunteers and her fellow meditators. her phone was confiscated upon arrival, and she was not able to read, write, listen to music, or really do anything that would keep someone sane in rural Canada. she told me afterwards that her only form of entertainment was going outside to observe an owl and its fledglings in a nest on the grounds of this meditation centre.
the centre is about a 4 hour drive from where she and my dad live. instead of driving there herself or getting a lift from my dad, my mom opted to carpool with a complete stranger she found via a message board on the centre’s website. when she told me about all of this last month, i was worried she was suffering a midlife crisis. my first instinct was to urge her not to go. it all sounded very new age-y, very cultish. and hitching a ride somewhere with a stranger from the internet is literally the thing parents are supposed to forbid you from doing so it seemed not only risky but also weirdly hypocritical?
but, then again, i am literally married to “someone from the internet,” so i would’ve also been a hypocrite if i made all internet users out to be deviant, murderous boogeymen. in any case, she attended the retreat and did not get murdered. yay! i can’t imagine not speaking for one day, let alone 10, but to each their own, i suppose.
work has been fine — i have officially gotten over getting passed up for the promotion i interviewed for last month. funnily enough, i am currently temporarily covering the role of the successful candidate, who was a member of my team but has since started their new job. i was dreading covering the role at first, but it’s been interesting to learn new processes and see a different side of the work my team does.
i think that if i had gotten the promotion instead, i would probably be suuuper stressed instead of just merrily chugging along as i am right now (like, i am literally typing this post out on the clock. isn’t it nice to be settled in a job and not feel like you have something to prove because you’re a new starter?). but in all honesty, i do think i still have room for growth (mostly in the way of confidence) and am happy for my former colleague.
in 3 and 5 weeks respectively, we fly to germany and then canada to attend our friends’ weddings. i have a lot of stuff i need to sort out before then (especially before the canada trip), including sewing a hat for my dad. sadly, i’ve been kind of avoiding sewing since my disaster of a self-patterned skirt a few months back... but i will try to tackle a project this evening, as my partner is away on a work trip and i don’t have much else going on. wish me luck!
listening to: Suntub by ML Buch
reading: Leaving the Atocha Station by Ben Lerner
feeling: resigned to the arduous task at hand… (sewing)